Lantau Island is a magnet for mediocre to incompetent civil servants, notably members of the police force. I have written about them many times; their, shall we say interesting take on what their job description in particular, and yesterday morning (May 1st) I got yet another depressing (yet hilarious) story to add to the long list of Lantau Police stories which is now long enough for a short book.

Coming back from dog walking, still not 100% sober from Tap Tap the night before, I saw a police van and a number of officers milling around a strangely familiar car: That of lively couple A and B whom I’d been drinking with. And there was B in the police van, still in excellent spirits as it were, handcuffed and full of beans, while his wife A wasn’t as thrilled. She had received a call at 9.30 about their car being badly parked (true) and causing an obstruction (not true until another police van and -car showed up). Here is what transpired in B’s own words:

Basically the police officer instructed me not to touch my car (when i opened the bonnet to put some water in the coolant container); accused me of trying to “take away” a phone (when i reached into the car to call my wife and ask her to come quickly to the car — she had been on the way to the car when some of the police called her to come to the village shop instead. at that point we agreed that i should continue to the car and “see what the problem was”); and to stop touching a rucksack in the boot (when i was going through its pockets looking for my id card). that’s when he walked up about a foot away from me and started shouting into my face that he was going to arrest me. so close in fact that his spittle was flying into my face. and that’s when i got irritated and invited him to do so. he then yanked my arms behind my back and cuffed me?
in particular, there was no violence or threat of violence. i was polite at all times, didn’t swear or act in an aggressive manner, and nor did i present a flight risk, at all times making it clear that i was looking for my i.d. card and waiting for my wife (the car owner) to arrive.

also, as i said to them many times, i needed the cuffs removed because they were cutting into my circulation and that this was a problem for me because i’ve had a stroke. i requested that they speed up getting me to the police station because the cuffs were put on too tightly. i was told: “it’s not your decision”. and that they were “securing the scene” (it’s a car parked on the kerb, for christ’s sake!!!)

A and I went to their house to get B’s ID card and when we came back the van was gone with the still handcuffed B in it. Now he would have to spend hours at the police station while they waited for an interpreter. The car could also not be removed – a CID detective would have to come from Tung Chung to photograph it. No more talk of obstruction, in other words.

Funny how the police doesn’t care about the obstruction of the pavements in Pui O

but I suppose an old woman in a wheelchair having to be pushed in the middle of the road with trucks thundering past doesn’t have the same importance as drivers having to slow down for a couple of seconds for a parked car. One thing though: When a madman tried to kill me last month and subsequently proceeded to smash my door to pieces with some stools because I nimbly evaded him,

the police only sent TWO officers and one detective, whereas to deal with a man trying to get into his own car, NINE officers in two vans and two cars were needed. This is clearly discriminatory.
Yep. Your tax money at work, and another great victory for the Lantau Police.

(B was released about 7 o’clock last night, so this May Day crime drama took only about 10 hours.)