Last Friday I went to a, well, a little bit up-market party, where the speakers addressed some of the guests as “Your Excellencies.” I couldn’t really work out what was so excellent about them - they were just geezers in suits who left early as far as I could see. Anyway, it was that kind of party.
The unsuitable venue was Grappa’s where there are lots of tables for four people squeezed together on two sofas in … enclaves? Alcoves? It will come to me. The excellencies and other notables sat at a long table with freedom of movement whereas I was stuck in a corner with no escape route. And here is the thing: When did it become good party etiquette to seat couples together?
The fourth person at our table, a man presumably intended for me, didn’t turn up, so I had to sit there for several hours listening to this married couple bicker mercilessly and without stop. One couldn’t say a single thing like “Oh yes, it was last Friday we went there” without the other going “Ooooh, you always get it wrong, it was Saturday” etc.
Because I was also giving a speech (without notes) and not until after dinner, I had to spend three hours without wine listening to this and frequently being used as a foil in the bicker wars.
These people had met before, and not only on a few occasions, but virtually every day for the last 27 years. If they had wanted to meet only each other and one wine-less woman, they might as well have stayed home, no? If it had been my party I would have seated them on different floors.
All around the room it was the same; couples and couples, seated together.
After I could start drinking the excellent white wine it turned into quite a good party of course, and I was sad to have to leg it for the ferry at 11.15.
But people: Couples go to parties to meet new people, not each other. They have met before.
Horrid, horrid. This isn’t about a breach of etiquette- it’s beyond that. No one should ever seat couples together! And I can’t imagine a party where a guest is allowed to go wineless. Or available man-less.